The results are in. I'm 20% Extrovert and 80% Introvert (according to this 10 question self quiz online). This is probably no surprise to most people who know me. I took this quiz because Matt and I have been talking about this topic a lot recently. I also recently read an article in Parents magazine about how to tell what type of personality your child is and how to 'parent' them even if they are the opposite of you. Which got me thinking about this whole thing and, while it's too early to really figure out what type Keane is, I've been pondering about myself....
I feel like this new information has sort of 'freed' me. I know that I have insecurities issues and I tend to not think too highly of myself (which I am slowly changing but "old habits die hard' so it's hard to retrain your thinking). But I feel like it's ok to be me. I always felt like a "Debbie-downer" in large social situations because I can't wait to get home and relax. Even on vacation, it's nice to be away but can't wait to relax in the comfort of my own home. It's replenishes my soul! (No exaggeration there..being home or in nature does that) Not to say I don't have fun being away or interacting with others, but it's more draining then energizing. (which is one of the defining things of introversion) The part that freed me was that IT IS OK. I don't have to try to be the life of the party or even feel energized by large social gatherings, or even plan large events. I've always felt this pressure to plan a BIG party for people because others around me do it (and do it well). But I just don't feel comfortable in those situations and therefore don't want to host them. But i enjoy behind the scenes prep stuff.
One example of this I use to feel dumb about is music and concerts. I love, Love, LOVE music, well if it's good music, but I'm not typically the type to be dancing and rockin' out at a loud concert, even if it's Muse or U2. I just quietly enjoy it, but I LOVE it and that makes me feel alive. You could never tell from the outside except that I probably have a smile on my face or am consumed by it. (I actually get almost embarassed that I enjoy it that much, but it could just be me and the band and I wouldn't realize anyone else is there.) But that's ok. I enjoy it just the same and those crazy dancers and thrashers (and they don't bother me, I just am glad that they are able to open up and have fun like that- it's just NOT me).
Matt and I have also discussed how we are both predominately introverts, so that does make it hard to get to know people in a large social setting. Now we are both different type of introverts, where I don't mind chit-chatty conversations with a few people and he hates small talk. He'd rather be with a few close friends talking about meaningful things. I enjoy that as well, but it's doesn't bug me as much to talk to random people I don't know about non-important issues. But that also gets into more of our personalities aside from introversion.
I just wonder if that is genetic? I mean will Keane (and possibly anymore children that come along) by default be mostly introverted since that it the traits both parents carry? Does that get into the nature vs nurture issue? I hope that if Keane (or others) or extroverted that we are able to let them be themselves and enjoy that time in large social interactions and let them by themselves and realize there is nothing wrong with them. That is how the Lord made them.
Selfishly, I feel lucky to be married to an introvert because we both enjoy our quiet time, still around each other, but not always interacting. We have our struggles in other ways, but it's sometimes nice to take a long car ride and just listen to music and not talk, just get lost in our thoughts...together but alone. Also it's not like one of us wants to stay at a party really late either. Though the downside is that sometimes it's hard to branch out there and meet new people. Also neither one of us has the high energy about planning parties or big events. We just like low key relaxing dinners with others and small parties with people we know vs new faces.
So if it seems hard to get to know us, it may be. But we still need to get out there and meet new people. Especially because most of our friends have moved away to far reaches of the Earth, or so it feels at times. But it's freeing to know, I can just be myself and that is ok.
