It was a very quick moment of panic but none-the-less, here it is. It all starts with my adorable, snot pouring from the nose, 11 1/2 month old. He's super snuggly because he doesn't feel well and i'm sure his little body is sore, so I want to give him a bath to soothe his achey bones before bed. Plus he LOVES baths, so I figure I'll lift his spirits before bed, since we've been tormenting him all day by using the dreaded nasal aspirator and tissues on his poor little nose.
So everything starts well. He drinks his bottle and we start running the water to fill the tub. I gather all the needed items to wash and for after the bath. Keane follows me around, because he knows "I can't get in the water unless my clothes are off..and I want to get in the water" So he's making his noises letting me know he's ready.
I get him undressed and plop him in the tub. He loves when the water is running so he holds his little ducky under the running water. (Today was extra cute because he even stood *naked bottom and all* in the tub at the faucet trying to 'grasp' the water.)
Now the water is at the appropriate level for my little man so I turn off the water. But the cold water won't turn off. I turn it on more, thinking that will 'unstick' whatever the problem is, but it still won't stop running! *what do i do now?* I pull out the pliers. Of course I'm trying to turn it off with those and part of the knob bends. Poor Keane, unaware of this mishap, is trying to crawl around in water that is now too high.
He's gets his first mouthful. That's ok. That has happened before. But of course, he's tired and not feeling good so he panics and tries to get to safety by crawling and dipping his face in the water again. I realize I'm not fully paying attention to him because I'm more worried about the freezing cold water pouring into the bath tub..
Poor thing. :( So there he is sputtering and coughing and trying to stand up. So i just hold him upright and wait. It's always sad for me to see him 'struggling' in anyway, especially if it's my fault. But of course I have to just wait it out to see how he does. (plus since i'm at home i don't have suction to clean out his little lungs if need be)
This is when the crazy thoughts begin to fly through my head to prepare myself for what to do next. "Ok, where's my phone if i need to call 911? How do I give a child CPR? Breaths? OK, calm down, you know what to do. Could I do it on my own little boy if i needed to? How am I going to shut off the water? Why now? I don't want to go to the ER right now. Ok, he's still moving air, that's good.. His face is red...and now back to normal.." Whew...
So much for a nice relaxing bath. At least he got wet. And he cleaned out his own nose by dipping it in the water...so I wrap him up and snuggle him real close.
Of course it was probably less than 5 seconds that he was coughing but it seemed like forever. I always think worst case scenario. Maybe because I work in healthcare where you see the 1-2% of crazy freak things, so i know weird things happen, or it could be because I have this 'bad' theology of life, that nothing too bad has really happened to me, so I'm due for something. Instead of just 'counting my blessings' I sometimes fear what the future holds, because i'm sure something bad is bound to occur.
Things Keane may never remember, may just scar me for life. Not sure how I will handle the 'bigger' things in life, especially when I am the one to cause pain and suffering in my own child's life. I know it will happen. I'm a sinner just like everyone else. I just pray that the Lord guides him as he does me and picks up the pieces to construct the masterpiece of Keane's story.
